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    My Craziness :)

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    sleeepygoron

    Posts : 81
    Age : 26
    Location : Minnesnowta

    My Craziness :)

    Post  sleeepygoron on Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:07 pm

    Fur Ihm

    The candle flickers nearer, burning me
    I hold my wound close near
    I lay my hand and press the keys
    Wishing I were there
    And everything I'd be
    Would never die; come closer
    I'd hold you next to me
    I'd lay your hand on my heart
    And the steady, beating rythem
    Would calm your fears to free
    What you think of me
    You'd kiss me tender
    I'd say that I love you
    And we'd never again be
    Far across the distance
    Cause I brought you back to me


    Written: 24 June 2009

    Escape


    I close the door behind me shut
    I drop silver keys on glass floor
    Slumber in my dreams
    Places I never wanted to explore...

    I walk the winding stairway up,
    Sleeping wanderer neverdreaming
    Wishing I would never wake
    Of love and hate wondering

    Sleeping dead behind stained ivory doors
    I flee the terror of my dreams
    The man behind me smiles
    Rustling lace behind me screams

    Never fleeing fast enough
    I cry for the night to heed her end
    The moon grows colder, lonely
    Before I wake alone in my bed


    Written: ??? (abt five months ago)

    Random Poem


    Lost in time
    I ride my silver demons
    Dying just to lie behind my masks
    Of all that I claim
    I don't live I only sleep
    Drowning in an empty bottle
    Wishing I hadn't taken what wasn't mine
    I die each night I close my eyes
    And when I sleep
    No peace I get
    I see his face a bloodied mess
    I wake in panic
    Trying to remeber
    What I did to cause my nightmare
    I wish I knew
    Just what happened
    But I'm drowning in an empty bottle
    Wishing I could die

    Written: ??? Abt five months ago (why the hell didn't I date this?)

    Killing You


    wish i were there
    to hold you as you cry
    to convince you not to kill you
    as you rot away slowly in my arms
    thin, hollowed cheeks reflect in my eyes
    i scream to god to end your pain
    cause though he may want you back
    i cannnot live knowing i was not enough
    to help you heal
    your thinned, hollowed cheeks
    before you kill yourself



    Ok, so these are all pretty old, but some of my better ones. Actually, I'm not a big fan of poetry, and isn't really my thing. Constructive critisism would be helpful. Smile


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    LokiBeragist

    Posts : 84
    Age : 28
    Location : Missouri

    Re: My Craziness :)

    Post  LokiBeragist on Thu Jan 21, 2010 7:31 pm

    I liked them all Very Happy Its like a more organized version of mine lol.

    I like the tones and visuals I got in my head.


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    Den
    Admin

    Posts : 85
    Age : 27
    Location : Maryland

    Re: My Craziness :)

    Post  Den on Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:33 pm

    It's like, I read them, and was too lazy to post. What a bastard am I.

    Anyway, I don't like giving critique to poems. I have the "there's no point" attitude in my head with poems and songs and other similar works because they're all so abstract and variable. So I'll just say I could really see the pain in the poems, like it wasn't just some crap some bored kid wrote down. It really came from the heart, I guess you could say. And for that, I like it — or them, I mean.

    I like the first one, because there's captilization... lol It seems more cohesive than the rest. I have no idea. I'm mindless.
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    sleeepygoron

    Posts : 81
    Age : 26
    Location : Minnesnowta

    Re: My Craziness :)

    Post  sleeepygoron on Fri Jan 22, 2010 7:17 am

    Den wrote:It's like, I read them, and was too lazy to post. What a bastard am I.

    Anyway, I don't like giving critique to poems. I have the "there's no point" attitude in my head with poems and songs and other similar works because they're all so abstract and variable. So I'll just say I could really see the pain in the poems, like it wasn't just some crap some bored kid wrote down. It really came from the heart, I guess you could say. And for that, I like it — or them, I mean.

    I like the first one, because there's captilization... lol It seems more cohesive than the rest. I have no idea. I'm mindless.

    Yeah. Well. I write about specific people or situations in mind. So. But I'm glad you liked the first one. I would have been so sad had you not. I'll tell you why later. Wink


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    Den
    Admin

    Posts : 85
    Age : 27
    Location : Maryland

    Re: My Craziness :)

    Post  Den on Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:10 am

    sleeepygoron wrote:
    Den wrote:It's like, I read them, and was too lazy to post. What a bastard am I.

    Anyway, I don't like giving critique to poems. I have the "there's no point" attitude in my head with poems and songs and other similar works because they're all so abstract and variable. So I'll just say I could really see the pain in the poems, like it wasn't just some crap some bored kid wrote down. It really came from the heart, I guess you could say. And for that, I like it — or them, I mean.

    I like the first one, because there's captilization... lol It seems more cohesive than the rest. I have no idea. I'm mindless.

    Yeah. Well. I write about specific people or situations in mind. So. But I'm glad you liked the first one. I would have been so sad had you not. I'll tell you why later. Wink

    I think I already know. :p
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    sleeepygoron

    Posts : 81
    Age : 26
    Location : Minnesnowta

    Re: My Craziness :)

    Post  sleeepygoron on Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:26 am

    Den wrote:
    sleeepygoron wrote:
    Den wrote:It's like, I read them, and was too lazy to post. What a bastard am I.

    Anyway, I don't like giving critique to poems. I have the "there's no point" attitude in my head with poems and songs and other similar works because they're all so abstract and variable. So I'll just say I could really see the pain in the poems, like it wasn't just some crap some bored kid wrote down. It really came from the heart, I guess you could say. And for that, I like it — or them, I mean.

    I like the first one, because there's captilization... lol It seems more cohesive than the rest. I have no idea. I'm mindless.

    Yeah. Well. I write about specific people or situations in mind. So. But I'm glad you liked the first one. I would have been so sad had you not. I'll tell you why later. Wink

    I think I already know. :p

    We'll see, haha.


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