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    An Allegory, Circles

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    Den
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    An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Den on Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:15 pm

    This is my allegory. Note that this was written directly for my book, not just for fun. This allegory actually has a ridiculous amount of relevance to my plot, so keep in mind that it's actually based on real events. There are archetypes in this allegory.

    And please give me real criticism / tell me what you think the allegory is trying to say. That would help me a lot.

    EDIT: I edited some details in. Read again if you wish.

    Circles

    A long time ago, the infamous Masked Festival was being celebrated in a town surrounded by grey stone, and many of the people had begun wearing their celebratory masks. However, the mayor and his advisors were having difficulty deciding the theme of the festival, for the theme was represented by the many different tribes and clans that attended the festival. Arguments grew tense, and time was passing quickly. Before midnight of the third day, they would need to decide.

    On the first day, an advisor dressed in brown robes strolled through his luxurious home, pondering the many different choices there were, and which clan deserved it the most. He began pacing in circles within his study, when a man guised in a white mask stepped over the threshold of his door.

    “I very much love this celebration, but this festival is unimportant,” the man said. “You must know that a great storm is coming. It will tear each home of this town down, slowly, one by one, one to one. Please sign an appeal in the town square, so the mayor will cancel the festival.”

    The advisor smiled sadly. “I am sorry, but I don’t have time for this. I am sure others will take the initiative, but my job depends on my input. Please, visit another.”

    “I see,” said the man. “I am sorry to have wasted your time.”

    On the second day, the same man in the white mask sat at the stool of a bar with his mask dawned yet again. He said to the bartender in grey, “I very much love this celebration, but this festival is unimportant. You must know that a great storm is coming. It will tear each home of this town down, slowly, one by one, one to one. Please sign an appeal in the town square, so the mayor will cancel the festival.”

    “I am sorry,” the bartender said, walking behind the bar in circles as he tended for his customers. “I cannot leave my position. I’ll be fired, and I must prepare the bar for the festival. I am sure you will find the aid of another.”

    “I see,” the man said with a hanging head. “I am sorry to have bothered you.”

    On the last day, as the sun slowly dipped passed the horizon, the man in the white mask showed up once more, before a wise, old master who sat steadily in his swordsman hall. “Surely, I don’t need to tell you what is happening. A storm is coming. It will destroy every home, slowly, one by one, one to one. Will you do nothing?”

    The wise old man nodded. “I am the ony one who signed the appeal, I am afraid. I can do nothing now, but watch.”

    “I see,” the man said. “Then I will apologize, for I was unable to save you.”

    Before the stroke of midnight fell, a clan was decided, and its symbol was hoisted unto the face of the town clock tower. Everyone wore their masks. They enjoyed the singing voices of others. They feasted. And they danced in circles. But when the sky grew pitch black and the clock’s long hand struck twelve, a thunderous roar resounded in the distance.

    Something infinite in power surged outside the grey walls, but all screams were quelled as the town was overtaken by a massive wave made black by the midnight sky. It broke through the walls and took each house slowly, one by one, one to one. All was lost.

    The following morning, dawn broke over the town. Only the visited advisor was left alive, and as he crawled amongst the ruins of the town in shame, he saw the man in the white mask, standing beside the ruined walls. The advisor trembled in fear. The man pulled his white mask aside, and two eyes turning with disdain glared back.

    There was no hope from the beginning.


    Last edited by Den on Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:01 am; edited 3 times in total
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    Treble
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Treble on Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:53 pm

    When I think of an allegory, I think of a lot of Tool songs. They convey an obvious message, but within that obvious message, is a subtle wisdom.

    The obvious message here is that all but one person ignored an obvious warning and they had their lives taken.

    I think the subtle message is that it shows how truly ignorant people are. As each one says "I'm sure others will do my job for me". They just pass the burden down the line, and don't take any responsibility.
    If I were to compare it to today, I would say it's like voting. a lot of people won't vote because, "What could one vote do?"

    The old wise man is the only one that knows that everybody needs to take initiative.

    The last line seems to be a message about human kind.

    I gave it a 3. In a way, it was very well written. But in another way, I almost think the subtle message was too strong.
    Because it's a part of your book, I assume the man in a hood and eyes has a purpose.
    If it wasn't part of your book, I wouldn't have included his glowing eyes and stuff, I don't know what that meant. Unless it was like, Satan. But that's too direct for an allegory
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    Treble
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Treble on Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:36 pm

    Treble wrote:When I think of an allegory, I think of a lot of Tool songs. They convey an obvious message, but within that obvious message, is a subtle wisdom.

    The obvious message here is that all but one person ignored an obvious warning and they had their lives taken.

    I think the subtle message is that it shows how truly ignorant people are. As each one says "I'm sure others will do my job for me". They just pass the burden down the line, and don't take any responsibility.
    If I were to compare it to today, I would say it's like voting. a lot of people won't vote because, "What could one vote do?"

    The old wise man is the only one that knows that everybody needs to take initiative.

    The last line seems to be a message about human kind.

    I gave it a 3. In a way, it was very well written. But in another way, I almost think the subtle message was too strong.
    Because it's a part of your book, I assume the man in a hood and eyes has a purpose.
    If it wasn't part of your book, I wouldn't have included his glowing eyes and stuff, I don't know what that meant. Unless it was like, Satan. But that's too direct for an allegory

    I didn't really get allegories as much, so, I change it to a 4 now.
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    Den
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Den on Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:43 pm

    lol I'm glad you like it. And I think you know there was even more to the allegory (details, but you got the big picture one way or another). But they weren't worth mentioning. However, I think you missed one vital part that goes hand in hand with the ignorance theme. Humanity's ignorance is only one reason why horrible things happen.

    I think that my diction is obvious as well (such as midnight). But I am proud to say one thing wasn't quite figured out. Albeit, you probably noticed the other theme, the larger encompassing theme.

    EDIT: There's a feature with polls called "Cancel vote" under the polls. You can change your choice. ^^ Greatest thing since sliced bread!
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    Treble
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Treble on Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:53 pm

    Den wrote:lol I'm glad you like it. And I think you know there was even more to the allegory (details, but you got the big picture one way or another). But they weren't worth mentioning. However, I think you missed one vital part that goes hand in hand with the ignorance theme. Humanity's ignorance is only one reason why horrible things happen.

    I think that my diction is obvious as well (such as midnight). But I am proud to say one thing wasn't quite figured out. Albeit, you probably noticed the other theme, the larger encompassing theme.

    EDIT: There's a feature with polls called "Cancel vote" under the polls. You can change your choice. ^^ Greatest thing since sliced bread!

    So, wait, what's the other vital theme?
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    Den
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Den on Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:03 pm

    I ain't tellin'!...

    Which means I might have to make it a little more easy to see. Is it better to be subliminal? First tell me what other themes you might see.

    edit: I decided to cancel my vote completely. *shrug*
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    LokiBeragist

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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  LokiBeragist on Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:20 pm

    So....Im confused. The advisor and the bartender denied it and the swordsman signed it. But the advisor lived. Is this because the appeal had no control over the end anyways, or was it due to the man not wanting to waste his time saving anyone. and so he lived to see the white masked man told the truth?


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    Den
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Den on Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:54 pm

    LokiBeragist wrote:So....Im confused. The advisor and the bartender denied it and the swordsman signed it. But the advisor lived. Is this because the appeal had no control over the end anyways, or was it due to the man not wanting to waste his time saving anyone. and so he lived to see the white masked man told the truth?

    The advisor just happened to live. I could have picked the bartender to live. The swordsman, however, I did not pick, and that is for a reason.

    Can you rephrase your question? What's the core of your question?
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    LokiBeragist

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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  LokiBeragist on Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:01 pm

    Den wrote:
    LokiBeragist wrote:So....Im confused. The advisor and the bartender denied it and the swordsman signed it. But the advisor lived. Is this because the appeal had no control over the end anyways, or was it due to the man not wanting to waste his time saving anyone. and so he lived to see the white masked man told the truth?

    The advisor just happened to live. I could have picked the bartender to live. The swordsman, however, I did not pick, and that is for a reason.

    Can you rephrase your question? What's the core of your question?

    You technically answered. But my question was was the purpose here saying that since they didnt have time to sign, they damned themselves? Or was it saying that really, it didnt matter, and even signing it , they were still damned to this fate?


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    Treble
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Treble on Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:09 pm

    Den wrote:
    LokiBeragist wrote:So....Im confused. The advisor and the bartender denied it and the swordsman signed it. But the advisor lived. Is this because the appeal had no control over the end anyways, or was it due to the man not wanting to waste his time saving anyone. and so he lived to see the white masked man told the truth?

    The advisor just happened to live. I could have picked the bartender to live. The swordsman, however, I did not pick, and that is for a reason.

    Can you rephrase your question? What's the core of your question?

    I would guess that because the wise suffer from the ignorance of the foolish
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    Den
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Den on Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:36 pm

    LokiBeragist wrote:
    Den wrote:
    LokiBeragist wrote:So....Im confused. The advisor and the bartender denied it and the swordsman signed it. But the advisor lived. Is this because the appeal had no control over the end anyways, or was it due to the man not wanting to waste his time saving anyone. and so he lived to see the white masked man told the truth?

    The advisor just happened to live. I could have picked the bartender to live. The swordsman, however, I did not pick, and that is for a reason.

    Can you rephrase your question? What's the core of your question?

    You technically answered. But my question was was the purpose here saying that since they didnt have time to sign, they damned themselves? Or was it saying that really, it didnt matter, and even signing it , they were still damned to this fate?

    You hit the nail on the head. "Midnight" obviously refers to the end of the world or in general "the end". That wave, no matter what, was going to hit. Even if they had time to prepare, and maybe I should have emphasized this point, the destruction was on a scale a little larger than just their town. It was "unstoppable". Metaphorically, the unstoppable part of this was outlined because of the ending. I implied that the "man" was actually the cause (I did not say whether he was a god or a demon, but judging from how he did not die, he is above just human).

    There's a little more to it than just that, and I still have to work on the allegory more, but there are quite a couple themes in them. Ferret just outlined one of them (in a sense):

    Treble wrote:
    I would guess that because the wise suffer from the ignorance of the foolish

    In other words, the wise have to watch destruction without the power to stop it because of the ignorant.




    Another theme I have in there is the Diffusion of Responsibility. If you took psychology or are just randomly learned in the concept, you'll know what it is.
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    LokiBeragist

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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  LokiBeragist on Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:24 pm

    Treble wrote:
    Den wrote:
    LokiBeragist wrote:So....Im confused. The advisor and the bartender denied it and the swordsman signed it. But the advisor lived. Is this because the appeal had no control over the end anyways, or was it due to the man not wanting to waste his time saving anyone. and so he lived to see the white masked man told the truth?

    The advisor just happened to live. I could have picked the bartender to live. The swordsman, however, I did not pick, and that is for a reason.

    Can you rephrase your question? What's the core of your question?

    I would guess that because the wise suffer from the ignorance of the foolish

    Ohhhh~ I didnt think deep enough on the overall! >< I think thats a big ass reason Ill hate biblical text forever.


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    Den
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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  Den on Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:32 pm

    Btw, I edited the allegory with minor details if no one noticed. And MIKE! Rate the allegory!!!!! And Ferret's if you haven't. Critique is a beautiful thing.

    EDIT: nvm... >.>;;;
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    LokiBeragist

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    Re: An Allegory, Circles

    Post  LokiBeragist on Sat Jan 16, 2010 1:32 am

    Den wrote:Btw, I edited the allegory with minor details if no one noticed. And MIKE! Rate the allegory!!!!! And Ferret's if you haven't. Critique is a beautiful thing.

    EDIT: nvm... >.>;;;

    MR T PITIES THE FOO

    But yeah :3


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